Taking care of the people who take care of you
Plus, a review of Cuts Clothing.
Last week I finally decided to get a walking treadmill to keep under my desk at work so I can walk slowly while I work. When I sit still for hours on end my hands and feet get cold and I feel physically anxious. In some ways this was a sad decision to come to because what I really want is to move my body in a joyful way and dedicate time to physical activity. But for now, at least, I am hoping that this helps get out some of that jittery energy out of my system and helps me feel more regulated and less tense.
Anyway, since I made this decision, I needed to have my office desks switched from stationary to sit-to-stand. I asked our wonderful receptionist in the office to arrange the change. As it happened, she took care of it while I was out—not with a maintenance crew, just hereself and a dolly. She took everything off my messy desks, moved them out, moved int he new ones, and put all my files etc. right back where they were.
This is not the first time she has gone above-and-beyond, but it was really notable. I mentioned it to my spouse and he said, “Okay, does she get coffee? I’ll pick up a gift certificate for her and bring it to you at work.” The sweetness and rightness of this gesture really touched me. I gave him a big smile and he said, “What? you gotta take care of the people who take care of you.” And of course, you do. And by offering to take the mental load and the chore off of my plate (because of course, I was also thinking I needed to do something to thank our receptionist), it occurred to me that Ben was also taking care of me—the person who takes care of him.
As our federal government works on a budget and I just finished filing our taxes yesterday (Whew! Glad to have that done), I keep thinking of the quote from Joe Biden’s father, “Don’t tell me what you value. Show me your budget—and I’ll tell you what you value.” It applies to money, of course, but also to time, to our emotional and social resources, to every good but finite thing we have to give and spend.
Ashley Whillans, an Assistant Professor at Harvard Business School and author of the book Time Smart, has introduced me to ideas of a time budget, a time audit, and funding time. A time audit—like a money audit—often helps me recognize ways I’m spending my resources that really do align with my values and ways that I’m frittering my resources away.
Of course, once you’ve done a time audit or a money audit, the work of adjusting behavior is still grueling. I’ve been promising to schedule 2-2 hour blocks of time every week that are dedicated to a meaningful hobby, and I have yet to do it even once. But one thing that is accessible and manageable is to spend some time, money, or physical/mental/emotional labor to take care of the people who take care of you.
The Building Blocks
For my Attorney Aesthetic Outfit of the Day I’m trying Cuts Clothing for the first time. Their ethos is “For the Sport of Business,” and I think the idea is that it’s performance wear for the office. I tried it a couple different ways. First with Madewell Curvey Roadtripper Jeans and a light cotton trench coat from Everlane (it’s from a few years ago, but there’s a similar linked here. For a more professional look I tried it under an MM Lafleur suit. Either way works with simple gold-toned jewelry from Kendra Scott (the iconoic Elisa necklace that I received as a gift from a dear friend and that, according to style writers, sells every minute) and Ana Luisa (the tiny Cassie Huggies that I recieved as a gift from that very same friend).
The casual version
The Cuts Clothing item I’m trying today is their Coreflex Tank. It’s a ribbed, thick core of 100% nylon. It fits very close to the body and feels supportive—many people might feel that they could go braless Although not labeled as such, in practice it is a cropped piece that will require high-waisted bottoms. I really like their colors and found the piece comfortable and flattering. It’s tight enough, though, that I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing it on its own in the office. It’s kind of cozy-sexy for at home, though.
If you try it, you could consider pairing it with some more relaxed-fit items. As an underpinning for a buttoned-up suit it’s great. Their color selection is also really pretty. I tried their Tomboy Tee but felt it was not worth the price and didn’t like such a close fit in a t-shirt. They have a more boxy, relaxed fit Almost Friday Tee that I may still check out. Unfortunately, I would say they aren’t very size-inclusive, though as a newer company that may still be coming.
Overall, they’re doing some innovative stuff with fabrics and I love the concept of work as a sport. I have a suspicion they may have perfected their men’s items more so than their women’s. In fact, Milwaukee Basketball star Giannis Antetokounmpo was rocking one of their tees at a post-game press conference. On the other hand, that beloved immigrant kid who hordes complimentary hotel water bottles has made it clear that he loves to wear a shirt that’s free, so maybe Cuts Clothing just savvily marketed to Milwaukee fans. We are a powerful bunch.
But if you’re looking for thick, structured underpinnings that won’t be bulky under clothes, will off you some support, are flattering, and come in lovely colors then I would recommend checking out Cuts Clothing.
